OMG! There is no such thing! This has been hard and painful and scary and lonely and nauseating and sleepless and uncomfortable and the worst experience I’ve had in my life.
“Just rest”, well meaning people say. As if I have done anything other that for 30 days. It’s been laying in bed, in the recliner or in bed. Last week I did sit on the porch for 15 minutes, twice! Today I sat on the bar stool at the kitchen counter. And twice I have sat at the kitchen table.
This sucks. It’s a test for me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I will get back to work on my attitude of gratitude, but for now, tonight as I am uncomfortable and hopefully at the tail end of withdrawing from dalaudid (six times more potent than morphine) I want to bitch.
30 days I’ve basically been stopped from what I know as “life”. I have had to learn it’s ok to ask for help and I have had to depend on that help for myself to even get out of bed or up out of a chair! Not to mention have help to care for the horses and keep the business open.
I know there are those who have it way worse. I know I should be grateful. I know I should trust this. I should look and listen for the lesson. But for now, and for many dark times over the last 30 days I can’t!
I am just as I am at this moment. Sad, tired, lonely, uncomfortable and I’m okay with that.
Just had to say all that. Being injured like this is exhausting and difficult. I wish it on no one and have a new understanding of those that have endured anything remotely like this.
