Life

On a night where I was supposed to be getting to bed early to be ready for the drive to KY, I find myself unable to get comfortable and unable to stop crying. 

I'm not one to question as I know we can't control life but this happened

PB and I decided to do a demo at a local show for crowd experience before leaving for RRP. 

Things didn't go as planned but we improvised well. After we were done, I shoulda gotten off but decided to ride to the other side to exit. Without a neck Rope as it accidentally came off eerily in the demo, we lost control as the MC was thanking us. Maybe it was the crowd. Perhaps the changing weather, perhaps he was just bothered. He had already broken loose from the trailer and run the farm upon arrival. 

I rode him. At first I smiled and waved to the crowd figuring he would stop. But no, he went into complete panic and bolt and run like the race horse he was. Fast!  I stuck well until a turn, I lost a stirrup but thought for a moment he would come down but then it felt if he got another second wind. I was fatiguing. And I tried but off I rolled. They said it looked like I emergency dismounted. The wind got knocked out of me and it seemed I was okay.  I got up and smiled and waved. Did the walk of shame to my horse. Hung around for a bit to watch the next demo and then headed to the trailer    Embarrassed, upset, mortified and humiliated.  When I went to tie him my shoulder screamed at me!! My friend Steve was there thank goodness!  He took care of Party and I cried. 

Came home, iced my shoulder and had a drink. Crawled into bed wondering if I would be sore the next day. 

Today, I woke up a little sore and headed to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. Somewhere in there I reached for a mug and my shoulder screamed!! Something was not right!

A trip to the urgent care would reveal a broken collarbone!  And a trip to see a specialist tomorrow. And told no riding and no moving the arm!! My left at least as I am right handed. 

I met with my staff and we made the tough decision to not to travel to compete. Feels like 10 months of work down the toilet!! I am heartbroken. I know I don't heal as well as I used to and only have one left shoulder and I know I want to ride for a long time. I know it is a smart decision. Yet I am hurting, sad and in shock. 

So there is nothing to do but cry tonight all I want and tomorrow wipe my face off, change my thoughts to see what good can come of this and go see the specialist. Hoping it just needs to heal. We shall see!! 

I know I am not the only one to miss this year's event after tons of hard work. My heart is sad for all of us! And tomorrow is another day.